I confess I felt nothing particular when most of my family died. I didn't actually like them very much.

However, I was shook up when my friends died. I'm pretty damned sure I'll be shook up if my mum goes too, because I do care about her a lot. Even more than the pets I've lost.

I'm very sad to hear that Dave. The only positives are that she is no longer suffering.
I hope your OK out in Germany, we're all here as usual

Thanks everyone.

Bratty, it isn't unusual for many people to not feel anything or for it to hit them later.

When my uncle and gran died earlier this year, it was a relief in many ways, they were both old and suffering. I felt for them, but was also happy that they weren't suffering any more. I also hadn't seen them in several years as they lived a long way from the rest of the family, so an extra 8 hours of travelling, on top of the 24 or so I was already doing to visit the "core" of my family was usually too much.

With my mother, it is much more personal and immediate.

That's massively sad, but at least it's over now Dave Yesterday was my Mum's birthday. Really makes you think. My crap-ness pales so much in comparison

If I could say something that would help, I would.

But I can't.

Consequently I can only think of one thing that says it all:


$h!t


Take your time, cry as much as you want, eat plenty of pie and we'll see you on the other side.

never once has it hit me later on as you say, When my parents pass away I dont think I will care personally as I belive I dont love them.

Well, let's just hope you don't get to put your theory to the test for a long long time.

I suspect when the time comes I won't feel much for any of my family members - we're just not that close, and I'm often coldly rational*

* I've no idea if that's actually a problem or not, but I'm no sociopath