Do you get a shiny helmet?

Already got... Sorry, dunno, that and the potential high-vis jacket certainly don't help the prospects of anyone with a brain taking it on

Oh, and to put it into perspective, at least twice a week we get emails saying that work is being carried out on the fire alarm!

Ah, that reminded me..

On the way out of work this evening, held the door open for a bloke wheeling his bicycle out, presumably on his way home. He, quite sensibly, had one of those high-viz bib/waistcoat things on.

Over that he was wearing a large, entirely black rucksack. Which covered the whole back of the bib, and both the shoulders. The only bit of the bib it didn't cover was the part over his chest. Obviously, when you're bent over while cycling, that's the bit that is really going to help you out. I hope he made it home in one piece but somehow, I have my doubts.

Jon

Hi Viz jackets, armbands and other such paraphernalia is a good idea when you're riding a bike or walking on a dark country road.

However! I have absolutely no intention of driving my car into a bike in the dark regardless of what the rider is wearing. Provided of course he has the legally required reflectors, lights* and doesn't just randomly ride out in front of me.

Trees don't wear HV jackets and I don't plan on driving into one of them either. And yes - they really do sometimes jump out in the middle of the road around this part of the woods!

*(proper ones - not those STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID blinking LEDs which are IMPOSSIBLE to visually LOCATE on a country road with hedges etc because they are TOTALLY FRICKIN LIT UP BLACK ON A BLACK BACKGROUND more than half the time)

Nothing wrong with being a fire warden. If nothing else you get to go to meetings so can avoid working. If you're very lucky you get to use a walkie talkie.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GoEw3xpvWs8


"Laugh or burn..."

There's more than one way to skin a cat

Arrived at airport to pick up family, having taken the wrong frikkin' turn off because I didn't check which terminal I was supposed to pick them up at! Doesn't matter much because it'll be almost an hour since I've arrived.

I think today is gonna be a day of fail. Everything indicated one terminal and they arrived at another! Meant a good 15 min drive. In the end I picked them up at 0830. I could have done that if I left the house at 0630 instead of 0400!

They also brought more than they left with. Twice as much to be precise. I should have taken two cars. As it stands, my car is lower than a rude boy ride!

Ow. Just. Frikkin. Ow!

My missus just came to me, complaining that she couldn't get the loft hatch to close properly.

I go upstairs, and she has the ladder waiting for me. We have one of those multi-position, four section, folding ladders. It's great - you can set it up as a decorating platform and all kinds of things. Yeah, you can see where this is going, can't you?

In this case it was erected in standard A-frame position - with two sections either side.

So, I tootle up the ladder, past the first hinge, and the whole fcuking thing decides to fold up, pitching me backwards into the stairwell. I think I stopped about halfway down the stairs. She put the ladder up for me but didn't lock the sections (fail), and I know I should have checked (fail).

Gunna be sore in the morning.

Hope you didn't sustain any serious injury.

Nothing broken, but I feel like I've rolled up in a rug and kicked for ten minutes.

Yep, very similar kind of thing. It's actually a very versatile, fantastic bit of kit but, if you get one, don't let someone else erect it.

Not sure if this should be in Fail or Win to be honest with you...

Because they marginally cocked up my last online order, Ocado gave me a free bottle of wine with the order that's just shown up. It's a very nice bottle of wine.

I don't drink alcohol any more...

Jon

Keep it for when company's round? Or are you like me and hate sitting there while everyone else is drinking?