And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why I haven't asked the wife if she would like to join the forum!

Only kidding!

Yeah so she could, try, and keep you under control. And we are all most grateful for her efforts, however unsuccessful they may be.

I dread to think what you would be like if she wasn't here keeping an eye on you

Ermmm... Alun?

She is not a member of the forum.

Would you like to re-read my original post then squirm in an embarrassed manner?

No I am not gonna say what I was gonna say so there. But we do have a few nice beaches and a big garden.

FFS, it's taken everyone this long to discover that we're "The Reds" that JJ often refers to so it's not as though I've been houdning his footsteps all over the forum is it? Besides, Mr Red is all growed-up, he can do and say as he pleases, online or in real life

*Snigger* I'm not sure that even I could keep an eye on JV to the point of modifying his behaviour on here. Also, I'm not sure I'd want to, he's much more fun being his usual self

Welll, you've gotta 'ave a larf, incher! </mockney accent>

So am I right in thinking that Saturday 20th would be a good day? It's the solstice, so I usually celebrate by doing something silly

Suggested Agenda, please comment and add suggestions:

• Arrive at the beach about 2pm.
  It's a very long drive, so I probably won't get there before. Who needs a lift, and who's got their own steam? I have limited space, and I can't make too many detours or I'll be knackered. Anyone else driving, who could maybe give people a lift from the station?
• Picnic on the beach
  I'll bring a cool-bag with sarnies and pop. I suggest other people do too, or just grab something from a local shop
• Take in the sites, paddle, have a laugh, whatever!
• Pie and Chips
  I was thinking about a resteraunt, but since we're at the seaside that's just not right. Maybe we can find some cockles, or is that a London thing?
• Go home or find somewhere to sleep
  Who can get home OK that night, and who needs putting up? Any cheap suggestions are very welcome, since I expect the B&Bs will be quite full

It's hot. I wish I was there already. I'd make myself a fish finger sandwich, but I've run out

Sounds like a good plan. This is happening down in Cornwallshire, I take it? If you could modify your travel plans to include the Stratford contingent, that would be great. Or we could come to you...

I drive past your door, since I'd go M45, A46, M5, M5, M5, M5...

Gonna check with KW later, but if he's on for it then that leaves me one space - maybe pick up Jon in Exeter, although the last few miles will be a bit of a squeeze. Your car would be more comfy, but mine would cost half as much in fuel. I've not actually seen the car yet, but you and KW are pretty skinny so we should all fit

I'll be there, no excuse for me since that's where I live.

Me too. I can pick people up from a railway station if required.

I think if you're going for Perran, camping is a very good shout. Unfortunately, I don't have any room for people to stay here, as I live with my parents and there's barely enough room for me! I was gonna look into seeing about a cheap lodge at my new place of employment, but it's on the other coast, so not exactly easy. Could still check it out though?

Oh, and of course there's the small matter that I still can't walk, so extended walking will present me with a problem. But even if I just drop by to say hi (I can drive perfectly well - go figure), I will do.

Not for me.

I'm already going to the seaside then.

Sadly no KW then, since his dog is already taking him to a beach elsewhere! So my personal plan is:

Leave home as early as I can; pick up Red and Zippy about 9am, then Jon about 1pm, get to the beach about 2:30 for the picnic. Depends on traffic.

I suggest we all swap mobile numbers so people aren't waiting around. The M5 can take anything from 2 hours to over 9000 depending on how many other people want to go to the beach at the same time

The big issue is still (I don't mean the crap but worthy magazine) where to stay. I'm totally up for:

• A camp site - but we need to book soon
• Sleeping on the beach in dig-outs and maybe a fire and party and all that really cool night swimming - but is that legal these days?
• A cheap B&B but we need to book fast; and I (apparently) snore like a prehistoric rhino so if you want to split the room cost you need to sleep like a deaf object!
• Driving back to Exeter and sleeping in Jon's greenhouse

We have 14 days to invent a cunning plan

I will check with the Wench, as I don't know if she is around that weekend at all. If she is she may well be up for it, which would help with transport issues etc.