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saspro
Site Admin
Joined: Thu Apr 23, 2009 5:53 pm
Posts: 8603
Location: location, location
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OPEN LETTER TO THE CHANCELLOR OF THE EXCHEQUER
Dear Mr. Darling,
Please find below my suggestion for fixing Britain's economy. Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan :
There are about 20 million people over 50 in the work force. - Pay them £1 million apiece severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:
1) They MUST retire. Twenty million job openings - Unemployment fixed.
2) They MUST buy a new British CAR. Twenty million cars ordered - Auto Industry fixed.
3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed.
4) They must send their kids to school / college /university - Crime rate fixed
5) Buy £50 of alcohol / tobacco a week there's your money back in duty / tax etc
It can't get any easier than that!
P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances..
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| Thu May 28, 2009 2:53 pm |
 
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Spreadie
I haven't seen my friends in so long
Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 6:06 pm
Posts: 6355
Location: IoW
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Ummm, where do they get the £20 Trillion to pay off the over 50's?
Otherwise, lets go for it.
_________________
Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes; after that, who cares?! He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!
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| Thu May 28, 2009 2:58 pm |
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John_Vella
I haven't seen my friends in so long
Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 7:55 am
Posts: 7935
Location: Manchester.
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Double Maths fail FTL  It would be £20 Million. _________________John Vella BSc (Hons), PGCE - Still the official forum prankster and crude remarker  Sorry  I'll behave now. Promise
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| Thu May 28, 2009 2:59 pm |
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forquare1
I haven't seen my friends in so long
Joined: Thu Apr 23, 2009 6:36 pm
Posts: 5156
Location: /dev/tty0
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Sounds good, though how many over 50's have kids in school/college/uni? And might the crime rate go up if they drink so much!? 
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| Thu May 28, 2009 3:01 pm |
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John_Vella
I haven't seen my friends in so long
Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 7:55 am
Posts: 7935
Location: Manchester.
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I'll be 50 when my youngest turns 17. I did see this on an email the other day. It's funny  _________________John Vella BSc (Hons), PGCE - Still the official forum prankster and crude remarker Sorry I'll behave now. Promise
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| Thu May 28, 2009 3:04 pm |
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AlunD
Site Admin
Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 6:12 am
Posts: 7011
Location: Wiltshire
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Gimmy Gimmy Gimmy 
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| Thu May 28, 2009 3:04 pm |
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Spreadie
I haven't seen my friends in so long
Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 6:06 pm
Posts: 6355
Location: IoW
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First one was a typo, but I'm pretty sure that 20 million multiplied £1 million = 20 Trillion squid. Banks use the American Billion, not the British one. And how do you figure £20 million? That's £1 each.
_________________
Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes; after that, who cares?! He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!
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| Thu May 28, 2009 3:05 pm |
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John_Vella
I haven't seen my friends in so long
Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 7:55 am
Posts: 7935
Location: Manchester.
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Yes it would. You are indeed correct, and I completely mis-read and mis-typed. Complete fail for me.  _________________John Vella BSc (Hons), PGCE - Still the official forum prankster and crude remarker Sorry I'll behave now. Promise
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| Thu May 28, 2009 3:07 pm |
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forquare1
I haven't seen my friends in so long
Joined: Thu Apr 23, 2009 6:36 pm
Posts: 5156
Location: /dev/tty0
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Thinking about it, yes, Dad'll be about that when my sister is 17... It's great idea...Mum'll be happy, Dad will finally have time to finish all those jobs that need doing
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| Thu May 28, 2009 3:07 pm |
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AlunD
Site Admin
Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 6:12 am
Posts: 7011
Location: Wiltshire
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_________________
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| Thu May 28, 2009 3:09 pm |
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big_D
What's a life?
Joined: Thu Apr 23, 2009 8:25 pm
Posts: 10691
Location: Bramsche
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What about the teetotal non-smokers? 
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"Do you know what this is? Hmm? No, I can see you do not. You have that vacant look in your eyes, which says hold my head to your ear, you will hear the sea!" - Londo Molari
Executive Producer No Agenda Show 246
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| Thu May 28, 2009 3:10 pm |
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Spreadie
I haven't seen my friends in so long
Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 6:06 pm
Posts: 6355
Location: IoW
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Yeah, but you'd be a dead cert for the 24hr spam thread.
_________________
Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes; after that, who cares?! He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!
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| Thu May 28, 2009 3:11 pm |
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AlunD
Site Admin
Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 6:12 am
Posts: 7011
Location: Wiltshire
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A good excuse to start
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| Thu May 28, 2009 3:16 pm |
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saspro
Site Admin
Joined: Thu Apr 23, 2009 5:53 pm
Posts: 8603
Location: location, location
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I believe a Chinese government style order would take place, a citizenship test would also need to be taken.
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| Thu May 28, 2009 3:26 pm |
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HeatherKay
Moderator
Joined: Thu Apr 23, 2009 6:13 pm
Posts: 7262
Location: Here, but not all there.
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Or sell them on to drinking smokers. Extra profit. Mmm-mm. _________________My Flickr | Snaptophobic BloggageHeather Kay: modelling details that matter. "Let my windows be open to receive new ideas but let me also be strong enough not to be blown away by them." - Mahatma Gandhi.
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| Thu May 28, 2009 5:43 pm |
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