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John_Vella
I haven't seen my friends in so long
Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 7:55 am
Posts: 7935
Location: Manchester.
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A bloke walks into W.H. Smiths an says,"Do you have that self help book for men with small cocks?"Female assistant says "I don't think its in yet "He replies "Yeah that's the one "
_________________John Vella BSc (Hons), PGCE - Still the official forum prankster and crude remarker  Sorry  I'll behave now. Promise 
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| Fri Nov 16, 2012 7:27 pm |
 
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leeds_manc
I haven't seen my friends in so long
Joined: Thu Apr 23, 2009 8:19 pm
Posts: 5071
Location: Manchester
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This woman said she recognised me from vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore
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| Sat Nov 17, 2012 1:23 am |
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ProfessorF
What's a life?
Joined: Thu Apr 23, 2009 7:56 pm
Posts: 12030
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I always win waterballoon fights with the kids next door.
My waterballoons go in the freezer for a few hours
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| Fri Nov 23, 2012 7:06 pm |
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Amnesia10
Legend
Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 2:02 am
Posts: 29240
Location: Guantanamo Bay (thanks bobbdobbs)
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So Rolf Harris is being questioned about a, hitherto, unnamed offence:
Have you guessed what it is yet?
_________________Do concentrate, 007... "You are gifted. Mine is bordering on seven seconds." https://www.dropbox.com/referrals/NTg5MzczNTkhttp://astore.amazon.co.uk/wwwx404couk-21
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| Sat Dec 01, 2012 8:35 am |
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Amnesia10
Legend
Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 2:02 am
Posts: 29240
Location: Guantanamo Bay (thanks bobbdobbs)
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Why do porn websites have the "Google plus" sharing thing?
I don't want everyone knowing I use Google plus.
_________________Do concentrate, 007... "You are gifted. Mine is bordering on seven seconds." https://www.dropbox.com/referrals/NTg5MzczNTkhttp://astore.amazon.co.uk/wwwx404couk-21
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| Sat Dec 01, 2012 8:36 am |
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E. F. Benson
Doesn't have much of a life
Joined: Wed Sep 16, 2009 8:42 am
Posts: 798
Location: land of the free, Bexhill-on-Sea
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If attacked by a mob of clowns...
always go for the juggler
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| Sat Dec 01, 2012 8:33 pm |
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Fogmeister
I haven't seen my friends in so long
Joined: Thu Apr 23, 2009 7:35 pm
Posts: 6580
Location: Getting there
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What do you call an Israeli leader who you can't find on a search engine? Benjamin Not-on-yahoo 
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| Sat Dec 01, 2012 9:30 pm |
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Spreadie
I haven't seen my friends in so long
Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 6:06 pm
Posts: 6355
Location: IoW
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A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt...
... Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Rocher
_________________
Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes; after that, who cares?! He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!
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| Sat Dec 01, 2012 10:57 pm |
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l3v1ck
What's a life?
Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 10:21 am
Posts: 12700
Location: The Right Side of the Pennines (metaphorically & geographically)
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Isn't that one several pages back on this thread? Still funny though.
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| Sun Dec 02, 2012 8:40 pm |
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Spreadie
I haven't seen my friends in so long
Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 6:06 pm
Posts: 6355
Location: IoW
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I wasn't sure - and seventeen pages is a lot to check, for a two line joke.
_________________
Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes; after that, who cares?! He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!
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| Sun Dec 02, 2012 9:11 pm |
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oceanicitl
Official forum cat lady
Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 8:04 am
Posts: 11039
Location: London
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"I've had it with my dog... he'll
chase anyone on a bike".
"Really? What are you going to
do about it?"
"Confiscate his bike."
_________________Still the official cheeky one
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| Fri Dec 07, 2012 11:53 am |
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leeds_manc
I haven't seen my friends in so long
Joined: Thu Apr 23, 2009 8:19 pm
Posts: 5071
Location: Manchester
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| Fri Dec 07, 2012 6:37 pm |
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pcernie
Legend
Joined: Sun Apr 26, 2009 12:30 pm
Posts: 45931
Location: Belfast
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The Pope has recently taken to Twitter. Well, if anyone's gonna name paedos online...
_________________Plain English advice on everything money, purchase and service related:
http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/
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| Fri Dec 07, 2012 10:07 pm |
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l3v1ck
What's a life?
Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 10:21 am
Posts: 12700
Location: The Right Side of the Pennines (metaphorically & geographically)
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Thieves have stolen two crates of Red Bull from my local corner shop.
I don't know how these bastards sleep at night.
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| Fri Dec 07, 2012 11:36 pm |
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Amnesia10
Legend
Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 2:02 am
Posts: 29240
Location: Guantanamo Bay (thanks bobbdobbs)
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If only Patrick Moore had pressed up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, A, B, start at life's menu screen, he'd have got an extra life.
_________________Do concentrate, 007... "You are gifted. Mine is bordering on seven seconds." https://www.dropbox.com/referrals/NTg5MzczNTkhttp://astore.amazon.co.uk/wwwx404couk-21
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| Mon Dec 10, 2012 3:53 am |
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