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I haven't seen my friends in so long
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Joined: Thu Apr 23, 2009 7:35 pm
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Location: Getting there
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I don't think we have one so I thought I'd start one :D

...

Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip?

To get to the same side.

:lol:

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The count will go up until they stop counting. That's the way counting works.


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Tue Oct 11, 2011 12:36 pm
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What's a life?
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Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 10:21 am
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Location: The Right Side of the Pennines (metaphorically & geographically)
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What's long, hard and full of seamen?

A submarine.

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'I'm going to snort this off your arse - for the benefit of government statistics, of course.'


Tue Oct 11, 2011 1:48 pm
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Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 6:12 am
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What do you call an Englishman with his hands on the Rugby World Cup?

An engraver :D

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Tue Oct 11, 2011 1:52 pm
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Joined: Thu Apr 23, 2009 8:46 pm
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An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night.

The man replies, "I am on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late."

The officer then asks, "Oh, really? And just who is giving that lecture at this time of night?"

The man replies, "That would be my wife."

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Tue Oct 11, 2011 3:32 pm
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Doesn't have much of a life
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Joined: Tue May 05, 2009 5:52 pm
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A policeman is at the end of his night shift and pulls over a speeding driver after a short chase
As it is very late he says to the driver It's the end of my shift so if you can give a good enough reason, I'll let you go"
The driver thinks for a minute and replies "Well my wife ran off with a policeman and I though you were trying to give her back"

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My Flickr Page

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Tue Oct 11, 2011 3:43 pm
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Spends far too much time on here
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Joined: Thu Apr 23, 2009 9:40 pm
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Location: Newcastle
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Englishman, Scotsman and Irishman walk into a pub

To watch Wales play rugby

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Macs are glorified Fisher-Price activity centres for adults; computers for scaredy cats too nervous to learn how proper computers work; computers for people who earnestly believe in feng shui.


Tue Oct 11, 2011 5:06 pm
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Occasionally has a life

Joined: Sun Apr 26, 2009 8:18 am
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AlunD wrote:
What do you call an Englishman with his hands on the Rugby World Cup?

An engraver :D



Martin Johnson !


Tue Oct 11, 2011 5:56 pm
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Two fish in a tank. One says to the other “how do you drive this thing?”

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Tue Oct 11, 2011 7:23 pm
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I just finished taking part in a 24 hour Scrabble marathon.
Talk about a night on the tiles.

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www.alexsmall.co.uk

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Windows works for me. But I'd never recommend it to anybody else, ever.


Tue Oct 11, 2011 7:47 pm
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Joined: Wed Jan 06, 2010 7:55 pm
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Location: on the naughty step
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Why did Wally wear stripes?
He didn't want to be spotted...


Tue Oct 11, 2011 7:56 pm
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I haven't seen my friends in so long
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Joined: Thu Apr 23, 2009 8:19 pm
Posts: 5071
Location: Manchester
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I never wanted to beleive that my Dad stole from his job as a road worker, but when i got home, all the signs were there.


Tue Oct 11, 2011 8:13 pm
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I haven't seen my friends in so long
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What cheese do you use to hide a small horse?
Mascapone.

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Tue Oct 11, 2011 8:20 pm
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My girlfriend didn't believe I could build a car out of spaghetti.
You should've seen her face when I drove past 'er.

(Better spoken than read.)

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www.alexsmall.co.uk

Charlie Brooker wrote:
Windows works for me. But I'd never recommend it to anybody else, ever.


Tue Oct 11, 2011 8:23 pm
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Doesn't have much of a life
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Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 12:43 pm
Posts: 1798
Location: Manchester
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When my wife said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking.

And then I saw her face.

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Tue Oct 11, 2011 9:32 pm
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How does Stephen Hawking refresh at the end of the day?
F5.

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Charlie Brooker wrote:
Windows works for me. But I'd never recommend it to anybody else, ever.


Tue Oct 11, 2011 9:38 pm
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