For the idiots that walk whilst looking at their mobile phones, they have started putting traffic lights into the ground at pedestrian crossings, to stop people blindly walking out into traffic.

As you probably know, I teach English. That's my job. I decided, a few months ago, that I wanted to try and improve my already formidable skills, (King of Modesty!) so I have started writing a novel.

About 22,000 words in to date, and the feedback I have received has been very positive.

It's Sci-Fi with some mystery thrown in, but ultimately it's a sort of love story. Here are the first eighty four words... feedback is appreciated, and I may well be looking for beta readers, if anybody is interested...

People say that when you die, your life flashes before your eyes. They are wrong. I know this because I remember when I died. I remember it as though it was yesterday. In fairness, it was yesterday, but that’s not the point. The point is that when I died my life most certainly did not flash before my eyes. Thinking about it, I must admit I’m kind of glad it didn’t, as I hadn’t really done anything worth revisiting. Up until that point, anyway.

Cadbury's Darkmilk: Wish I hadn't bothered.

I'd long given up Cadbury's a good few years ago when they were taken over. The chocolate started to taste like crap. I've gone for alternatives but was recently lured in after a discussion with a friend. Tastes crap. Imagine the cheapness of Cadbury's Dairy Milk that's been combined with dark chocolate. I've had better chocolate from Aldi.