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Joke Thread 
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What's a life?
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Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 10:21 am
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Location: The Right Side of the Pennines (metaphorically & geographically)
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I'd like to tell you a joke about a herb and a fish, but this isn't the thyme or the plaice.

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pcernie wrote:
'I'm going to snort this off your arse - for the benefit of government statistics, of course.'


Tue Aug 08, 2017 2:17 am
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I haven't seen my friends in so long
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Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 7:55 am
Posts: 7935
Location: Manchester.
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The wife told me to stop standing like a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.

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okenobi wrote:
John's hot. No denying it. But he's hardly Karen now, is he ;)

John Vella BSc (Hons), PGCE - Still the official forum prankster and crude remarker :P
Sorry :roll:
I'll behave now.
Promise ;)


Tue Nov 07, 2017 11:52 am
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I haven't seen my friends in so long
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Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 7:55 am
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Location: Manchester.
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Going to see the physiotherapist soon. Great sense of humour, that girl... She's always pulling my leg!

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okenobi wrote:
John's hot. No denying it. But he's hardly Karen now, is he ;)

John Vella BSc (Hons), PGCE - Still the official forum prankster and crude remarker :P
Sorry :roll:
I'll behave now.
Promise ;)


Tue Dec 12, 2017 4:26 pm
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What's a life?
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Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 10:21 am
Posts: 12700
Location: The Right Side of the Pennines (metaphorically & geographically)
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An old man drove past me on a tractor this morning, and told me the end was nigh...

I think it was Farmer Gedden

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pcernie wrote:
'I'm going to snort this off your arse - for the benefit of government statistics, of course.'


Sat Mar 17, 2018 5:51 am
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Has a life
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Joined: Fri Dec 13, 2013 6:44 pm
Posts: 90
Location: Polesworth
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He'd been in the fields sowing wild oats and forgotten to zip up!!

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I cannot remember the last time I forgot something ;)


Sat Mar 24, 2018 8:57 pm
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Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 7:55 am
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Not a joke, as such, but this made me chuckle...

A mate recently posted on BookFace "Feeling sh1t"

Hi mother-in-law instantly replied "Well put it down and wash your hands, you dirty basterd!"

:lol:

_________________
okenobi wrote:
John's hot. No denying it. But he's hardly Karen now, is he ;)

John Vella BSc (Hons), PGCE - Still the official forum prankster and crude remarker :P
Sorry :roll:
I'll behave now.
Promise ;)


Mon Feb 11, 2019 9:13 am
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Legend

Joined: Sun Apr 26, 2009 12:30 pm
Posts: 45931
Location: Belfast
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Might apply for a job at the mirror factory.

I could see myself working there.

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Plain English advice on everything money, purchase and service related:

http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/


Sun May 31, 2020 3:07 pm
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Joined: Fri Dec 13, 2013 6:44 pm
Posts: 90
Location: Polesworth
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My wife and I went to the marriage guidance councillor last week.
We had to tell him to stop crying and get over it; we are not going to split up.


This is not far from a true story when we were sent to a psychiatrist for help over my wife's mother's death (which wasn't needed -the help that is)

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I cannot remember the last time I forgot something ;)


Mon Jun 01, 2020 5:47 pm
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There's been a lot of controversy regarding the author of the Bible recently.

A friend of mine believes that God wrote it.

Personally, I think he got a Holy Ghost writer.

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okenobi wrote:
John's hot. No denying it. But he's hardly Karen now, is he ;)

John Vella BSc (Hons), PGCE - Still the official forum prankster and crude remarker :P
Sorry :roll:
I'll behave now.
Promise ;)


Wed Aug 26, 2020 1:39 pm
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Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 10:21 am
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Location: The Right Side of the Pennines (metaphorically & geographically)
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Why can't Trump go back to the Whitehouse?

It's ForBiden.

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pcernie wrote:
'I'm going to snort this off your arse - for the benefit of government statistics, of course.'


Mon Nov 09, 2020 11:34 pm
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I haven't seen my friends in so long
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Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 7:55 am
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Location: Manchester.
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l3v1ck wrote:
Why can't Trump go back to the Whitehouse?

It's ForBiden.


Ooh, a topical one! :lol:

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okenobi wrote:
John's hot. No denying it. But he's hardly Karen now, is he ;)

John Vella BSc (Hons), PGCE - Still the official forum prankster and crude remarker :P
Sorry :roll:
I'll behave now.
Promise ;)


Tue Nov 17, 2020 5:35 pm
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