No kidding, I was hugely disappointed with the performance figures.

Up until a few years ago, I thought navel-gazing was looking at womens' bare midriffs. It was only when someone said it to me that I twigged that's not what it meant!

The third-rate emo sh!t on the Batman AC soundtrack album*

* The score album's good.

£42.90 for a pre-ordered game HMV? Don't think so, and how much are you planning on charging in the shop ffs?

Ordered it for £34.90 from Tesco with a voucher

Watching women trying, and failing, to work the EPG on a Sky HD box.

Absolutely torturous.

So, is that down to just being a woman, or rubbish UI design from Sky?

I suspect it's due to Sky's biggest USP (the sport) and thusly the EPG being, IMO, rather male-oriented.

How on earth can an EPG be 'male orientated'? Too many jagged angles? Not enough pink? 'Sport' is one category out of about ten. They have one for shopping as well, if we're going to employ massive cliché's.

It's a grid list of programmes. The highlight moves around with the pointy buttons. The coloured buttons do stuff. My three year old nephew can handle it. As can my sister in law. if someone can't it's got nothing to do with the presence or absence of a Y chromosome, it's got to do with absence of brain cells.

Jon

7dayshop.com there. I'm saving -45p you say? Awesome!
Hang on...

Post has just been delivered at 6:40pm. Postman must be shagging a lot of housewives if he's going to be this late.

I went on a home visit. After sorting the patient out, I returned to my car. I opened the door, shoved my bag in and sat down. It was only when I looked up and saw that there was no steering wheel that I realised I was sitting in the passenger seat!

I did that a few times in the US

My mum held a party and her ex-boss came over (he had been transferred to the Houston office). He had drunk a little too much and people were trying to get him to take a taxi, but he insisted on driving. He went down the steps, climbed into the car and, in his Geordie accent, shouted out "Who nicked me' fooking steering wheel?"

That finally convinced him to take a taxi!

So.. christmas presents. I was looking on Amazon for presents for people and specifically one friend of mine. She was forced by work to spend a long period away from home recently and, horror of horrors, she finds that after coming back she's developed some sort of reaction to her pet cat - almost like she's become allergic all of a sudden. So she's had to give the cat up. The cat used to sleep on her bed at night and she's told me she misses that. So I thought, 'why don't I buy her a cat shaped hot water bottle.' She's always complaining of the cold in winter anyway. So I do a search on amazon and, lo and behold, they have several sorts of cat shaped bed warming devices. I pick one that looks quite nice and sounds fine. Somewhat cartooned whiteout being twee, heat it up in the microwave, stays hot for hours... lovely.

So I go through the order procedure and I'm just about to confirm the order when the proverbial exclamation mark pops up above my head.

'Hold on a minute' I thought 'It's in the shape of a cat.. AND YOU PUT IT IN THE MICROWAVE AND HEAT IT UP???'

Who the hell thought that was actually a good idea?

Jon

It's no worse than the idea of pouring boiling water down its neck!