Don't let the pasty faces fool you. And anyway, Dracula couldn't take on my sister if she was armed with an Iceland garlic wonder.

Upstairs in this house is freezing because my father has been painting a tiny section of the bathroom and then left the window wide open... The wind is actually blowing the rain in. Oh, and if that's not dumb enough, he's doing this just before the house gets fitted for gas next week. If you hear of an Ulsterman who has caved his father's head in with a size 13 boot, that'll be me.

Jesus wept... know these days where you can't find a solitary website that just fcuking works the way it's supposed to?

stop using IE/firefox

It definitely ain't the browser, just retarded sites.

Oh yeah, go right ahead and sign me up to Evernote Premium without even asking... This was in the app ffs, no warning or indication, just 'welcome to...'.

Deleted the account, there'll be hell to pay if I get billed for their little scam.

Not really a rant as I'm finding it funny but worth a share.

Some of you will know I've bought a second property up in Nottinghamshire with the other half as a rennovation project. Ordered Sky TV, phone and internet. The TV was installed before Christmas with an appointment for the phone and internet on 5th January. There was no phone line at the house previously (a weird Polish man lived there for 56 years and planted a lot of trees) so it's a completely new install.

Engineer gets there on the 5th and can't install the line as they have linked it to the wrong exchanged. I rebook at appointment and the earliest they could do was today (2 weeks after the original appointment). This morning I get a text saying engineer is here but they have not fixed the exchange issue.

Call Sky back and say you haven't fixed the exhange issue. She says an engineer is booked in today and I reply the engineer is there now. She doesn't seem to understand this so back and forth we go and eventually she clicks. I ask if the issue will be resolved today and she tells me she has to wait for the engineer to update his notes. I tell her what the problem is and ask "Can't you call the engineer? I have the number". She replies "Oh no we can't speak to engineers we have to wait for the notes to be updated".

Apparently the notes are not updated until midnight tonight (WTF???) so now I have to call back tomorrow.

All I can say is I'm glad I'm not the one up there with no phone or internet. Still, at least the toilet has now been installed so could be worse. He could still be sh1tting in the woods (not literally but was roughing it).

WTF is it with browsers that not only lose your tabs but the fact that they were ever in your history?

There's your problem right there.

It's probably not Sky's fault in this case. The connection at the exchange is most likely dealt with by OpenReach/BT, one of the most incompetent companies on God's earth.

Depends if Sky have their own equipment there or not, but I take your point.

BT Opeanreach are usless. We had issues with them installing a physical line for Plusnet to use when we moved house last time too.

Or any earth in any dimension I expect.

Well it's all inclusive for £49 a month and actually BT engineers install the phone line

Now have to wait another 5 days for them to try and get the correct exchange

Actually it's a 3rd party contractor that installs the lines for Openreach

I'm gonna do a Putin and have the undesirables who are my family committed. But only because I can't get my hands on polonium. I wouldn't even know where to start with the retarded behaviour I've seen today.