x404.co.uk
http://x404.co.uk/forum/

Flying dildo downs Oz stag party bloke
http://x404.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?f=19&t=12548		 Page 1 of 2
Author:  pcernie [ Mon Feb 14, 2011 1:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Flying dildo downs Oz stag party bloke
A shaken Oz stag party reveller has recounted how he was left "battered and bloodied" after taking a head shot from a flying dildo.

According to this very silly report, 31-year-old Darwin architect Jure Skumavc joined groom-to-be Peter Rolih and around eight other pals in a Brisbane pad on 28 December for the traditional pre-nuptial blokes' knees-up.

Evidently, it wasn't just the revellers who got their knees well and truly up, because "a scantily clad exotic dancer" entertained the chaps with her party piece - "shooting dildos at the guests".

Suffice it to say, regular Bootnotes readers will not require a technical description of how this works, but for those of you who've never caught a Bangkok floorshow, Skumavc likened it to the "infamous ping-pong ball scene" in Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.

Skumavc explained that the entertainer was firing the artificial todger from one side of the room to the other - an estimated seven metres with a peak altitude of around two metres - apparently targetting guests with the "pink projectile".

He said: "Other people got it in their chest and knees. I was the only one bleeding. It was my turn and it landed straight on my forehead.

"She started apologising straight away but I just said it was fine... then I touched my forehead and there was blood."

As regards the velocity of the "darting dildo", Skumavc noted: "It wasn't a strong shot. It probably just landed on an awkward sort of angle."

The victim was unable to describe the 12cm projectile in detail, emphasising that he didn't have "massive experience with dildos". ®

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/02/14 ... _incident/

:lol:
Author:  JJW009 [ Mon Feb 14, 2011 1:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Flying dildo downs Oz stag party bloke
pcernie wrote:
an estimated seven metres with a peak altitude of around two metres

Wow, most girls can't even throw a ball that far :shock:
Author:  steve74 [ Mon Feb 14, 2011 1:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Flying dildo downs Oz stag party bloke
Try explaining that one to the wife-to-be.
:lol:
Author:  jonbwfc [ Mon Feb 14, 2011 1:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Flying dildo downs Oz stag party bloke
The poor bloke is forever going to be known as 'dick head' now, you just know it.

Jon
Author:  Spreadie [ Mon Feb 14, 2011 1:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Flying dildo downs Oz stag party bloke
jonbwfc wrote:
The poor bloke is forever going to be known as 'dick head' now, you just know it.

Jon

:lol:
Author:  Amnesia10 [ Mon Feb 14, 2011 2:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Flying dildo downs Oz stag party bloke
JJW009 wrote:
pcernie wrote:
an estimated seven metres with a peak altitude of around two metres

Wow, most girls can't even throw a ball that far :shock:

Wow welcome to the forums Sid the sexist! :D
Author:  Amnesia10 [ Mon Feb 14, 2011 2:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Flying dildo downs Oz stag party bloke
jonbwfc wrote:
The poor bloke is forever going to be known as 'dick head' now, you just know it.

Jon

Most definitely. He will never live that one down. I wonder if it is mentioned during the best man's speech?
Author:  AlunD [ Mon Feb 14, 2011 3:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Flying dildo downs Oz stag party bloke
Amnesia10 wrote:
jonbwfc wrote:
The poor bloke is forever going to be known as 'dick head' now, you just know it.

Jon

Most definitely. He will never live that one down. I wonder if it is mentioned during the best man's speech?


If its not the best man is simply not doing his job properly :D
Author:  Amnesia10 [ Mon Feb 14, 2011 3:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Flying dildo downs Oz stag party bloke
AlunD wrote:
Amnesia10 wrote:
jonbwfc wrote:
The poor bloke is forever going to be known as 'dick head' now, you just know it.

Jon

Most definitely. He will never live that one down. I wonder if it is mentioned during the best man's speech?


If its not the best man is simply not doing his job properly :D

It wont be as bad as one my ex went to. The best man gave such a gushing speech declaring his love for him that the entire reception looked embarrassed at the apparent outing of the groom. One half of the reception were ultra conservative "homosexuality is a sin" type.
Author:  AlunD [ Mon Feb 14, 2011 4:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Flying dildo downs Oz stag party bloke
Amnesia10 wrote:
AlunD wrote:
If its not the best man is simply not doing his job properly :D

It wont be as bad as one my ex went to. The best man gave such a gushing speech declaring his love for him that the entire reception looked embarrassed at the apparent outing of the groom. One half of the reception were ultra conservative "homosexuality is a sin" type.


I used to run hotels and on one remarkable weekend the best man's speech mentioned the fact that he had enjoyed the brides company all the previous night :roll: a riot broke out soon afterwards. :D
Author:  Amnesia10 [ Mon Feb 14, 2011 4:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Flying dildo downs Oz stag party bloke
AlunD wrote:
Amnesia10 wrote:
AlunD wrote:
If its not the best man is simply not doing his job properly :D

It wont be as bad as one my ex went to. The best man gave such a gushing speech declaring his love for him that the entire reception looked embarrassed at the apparent outing of the groom. One half of the reception were ultra conservative "homosexuality is a sin" type.


I used to run hotels and on one remarkable weekend the best man's speech mentioned the fact that he had enjoyed the brides company all the previous night :roll: a riot broke out soon afterwards. :D

Wasn't Pauline Calf's wedding by any chance? Though if that was the case the marriage was doomed anyway. Eventually that gem would come out and it would be over. Better end it sooner and move on, before kids turn up. Though from the sounds of it their kids were probably pages. :lol:
Author:  AlunD [ Mon Feb 14, 2011 4:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Flying dildo downs Oz stag party bloke
Amnesia10 wrote:
Though from the sounds of it their kids were probably pages. :lol:
:shock: so you were there then :lol:

one was the chief bridesmaid.
Author:  Amnesia10 [ Mon Feb 14, 2011 5:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Flying dildo downs Oz stag party bloke
AlunD wrote:
Amnesia10 wrote:
Though from the sounds of it their kids were probably pages. :lol:
:shock: so you were there then :lol:

one was the chief bridesmaid.

So were paternity tests carried out on the pages and bridesmaids after the reception? ;)
Author:  AlunD [ Mon Feb 14, 2011 6:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Flying dildo downs Oz stag party bloke
Amnesia10 wrote:
AlunD wrote:
Amnesia10 wrote:
Though from the sounds of it their kids were probably pages. :lol:
:shock: so you were there then :lol:

one was the chief bridesmaid.

So were paternity tests carried out on the pages and bridesmaids after the reception? ;)

I wouldn't want to have asked 8-)
Author:  Amnesia10 [ Mon Feb 14, 2011 7:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Flying dildo downs Oz stag party bloke
Yes but with some people who have been failed by the education system for decades we can not be surprised that anything happens. I suppose if the best man was not a relative it did widen the gene pool. :lol:
Page 1 of 2 All times are UTC
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group
https://www.phpbb.com/